Wo/Man

The better part of the past 2 years I have become more acquainted with my animus. You know who that is; its the often shadowy part of our personality that carries opposite sex characteristics. As each person defines gender differently, this aspect varies from person to person. It is the character in our dreams that shapeshifts- savior, lover, demon, greenman... artist, professor, poet, priest...
I have realized this part of myself from delving into things I love but had forgotten their power to inspire. They take the form of Jane Austen's heroes; the spark that urges me to bead, sew, write; the dragon who aims its fire at those who stand up as opponents to the higher cause.

In this form I have found synchronicities in those who I find with devastated egos too weak to stand up to their strong demon/lover/angel who has manifested as more real than 'reality'. I have found it in the lost youth that is 'quarterlife crisis'- a very real phenomenon. I have found joy and insight in understanding more of what it means for my husband to be a man- both in the past and now in the present. That is a lifelong lessen I will enjoy seeing unfold!

I found recently I'd had several dragon/devil dreams and was initially a bit fearful of this theme. I have found several answers- you know, the kind of answers that take up too many words and have more of a wordless form in one's psyche. One worth noting is that it is a warning for me to take this part of myself seriously and to be vigilant to not allow it to have 'the keys' to my vessel, my ego, my person. Taking it seriously also means to understand how my light may manifest and to not engage in the black magic/drama that is trying to control others.

This insight arose out of a dream where I was in a classroom where an attractive male 40 something high school teacher sat back and allowed gang members in his classroom to seek blood vengeance. He knew the seeds he could plant would not fully germinate there. They would manifest as these kids got older. He knew it was not for him to break up a fight- at very least it would be fruitless, at most, fatal.

This wisdom has recently been reflected by wise women in my life like Patricia Ballantine and Marie-Sometimes, it is for me to just be the light and hold the light somewhere. And, always, it is best to be aware and take seriously the attempts by others to control. Sometimes I should stand up, but other times it is appropriate to say nothing and just let my light shine.

The shadow- and animus- it would seem, has a glittery cast when one chooses to allow it to reveal itself. Indeed it is the gold in the shit after which Jungians perpetually seek.